Four months have nearly come to an end, and it feels like an epoch and a day that I have been here. In true Biblical fashion, I will be departing the land of Egypt and entering the land of the Jews (New York City. Budum ching. Thank you everybody, I will be here all week. :D) In light of this auspicious and much anticipated occasion, I feel compelled to reflect on my experiences, expand upon my opinions (and themes) presented earlier, and speculate on how Egypt has changed me.
My thoughts are different. My opinions are different, my priorities and future plans have changed, and I am less fearful.
This best sums up how I will feel getting off the plane, except that I'm not bald, and it probably won't be raining.
What is my opinion of Egypt?
Many people have asked me that question. How is Egypt? Do you like it? I have to be honest and say no. Not all formative experiences are enjoyable, and this one as a whole was not. Too many problems plagued my life here, and too many uncomfortable or painful moments made it difficult for me to actually love or even like living here. That doesn't mean that I was always unhappy. I went to the Pyramids, the Egyptian museum, Alexandria, the Bahariya Oasis, the Citadel, Coptic Cairo, and other interesting places around Cairo. I also enjoyed the company of my Lawrence University professors and their children, as well as the lovely Mrs. Keshk.
Though I admit that the best times on this trip were when I was in Turkey and Jordan, I do not regret coming to Egypt, and I think this was the best use of my four months. I learned how to rent an apartment, how to take care of myself (fully), and most importantly I learned to not take water, heat, clean public toilets, electricity or (laundry) dryers for granted. I will return to the United States with a greater appreciation for the conveniences I have, and I will be better equipped to handle stressful situations, because they will be in my own country and in English.
The People of Egypt
This is a tricky subject, because I feel like a lot of my interactions with Egyptians were “lost in translation” moments. People are people everywhere, and I hope that some of my commentary was not too scathing and misrepresentative. There are good people everywhere, and there are bad people everywhere, and I tried to present both sides. I had good moments with Egyptians, who were polite to me, shared food with me, or helped me without expecting reciprocation. I did experience a lot of the dark side of Egyptian behavior: mainly street harassment (which I will address later in this post) and scores of vendors or taxi drivers trying to cheat me out of money.
Street Harassment
Again, I tried to represent my opinion earlier, but I feel I should clarify. Street harassment is a MAJOR problem here that is perpetrated by men toward any woman on the street to demonstrate dominance over public space. This is a problem that is caused by men who chose to not restrain themselves, who are frustrated by women’s societal/political gains, and who are sexually frustrated. My purpose was not to demonize Arab men, because street harassment happens everywhere, and men in the U.S., though usually more respectful on the street, show different kinds of disrespect towards women. Yet, I have to say that Egyptian street harassment was very uncomfortable, and I have never felt so systematically degraded in my life.
Religion
Don’t hate. Appreciate.
My comments about the muezzins were not a jab at Islam, they were a jab at the singing ability of the muezzins in my neighborhood. Islam is not the enemy; extremism of any form is what threatens world peace and security.
Politics
This is undoubtedly an authoritarian government and a torture state (but really, what country isn’t these days). Recently I read that because of Mubarak’s suppression of democracy, in some sort of official poll (which I forgot the name of) Egypt is ranked in the second tier of worst countries in the world. The scope of censorship is mostly limited to newspapers and television, but surprisingly, the web is overwhelmingly free. As far as basic freedoms, people are obviously not able to fairly elect their own representatives and corruption is rampant. Yet, the government has a limited reach into the private lives of its citizens (because of government inefficiencies at enforcing laws, not benevolence). People drive however they want, have any number of children, practice their own religions (though fundamentalists Muslims and Copts do get beat up on once in a while), live alternative lifestyles (homosexuality is more common than you would think in a conservative Muslim country), drink alcohol, and even blog about their countries problem (with some backlash, but still . . . ). The government can’t do very much about it. This is not a 1984, “Big brother is watching you” state. Although there are police stationed on many corners, (granted, they are usually sleeping), there are not cameras everywhere detailing the moves of its citizens. Frankly, that would be way too organized and efficient for Egypt.
Modest Clothing
Wearing a more conservative wardrobe for the past four months has affected me, and given me a different outlook on life. I abhor that I cannot wear a skirt above the knee (which is classy, stylish, and respectable) because here I would be perceived as a slut for wearing it, or that a shirt that has a lower cut would probably brand me as a whore for all eternity. I DO NOT LIKE THAT. I support women who choose to cover themselves, though I do think that wearing a face veil (niqab) is too extreme. Yet I also think that wearing too skimpy clothes (skirts and short shorts that go up to your buttcheeks and lots of cleavage) is not liberating for women. Somewhere in between the extremes is good. I’m not one for telling women how to dress. Dress how you like. For me, at least, I want the way I dress to give me an air of respectability.
The United States of America
Let’s revisit street harassment one more time (there’s a point I need to make, I swear). Ultimately the men who harass women on the street should be held accountable for their own actions, because they have a choice not to engage in lewd behavior. Yet I somewhat blame my own culture for the treatment I have been subjected to here. A root cause that makes Western women particularly vulnerable to street harassment is the oversexualized media portrayals of Western women by Western media. Even more than before, watching American movies makes me cringe, because I think in the back of my mind how Egyptian men, with very little cultural knowledge of the U.S., will think that all American women are available to them. Thank you, U.S sexism.
Besides American culture, a lot of my opinions on U.S. policy have changed as a result of a class I took on Middle East politics in the 20th century. Now I understand more fully the U.S.’s hypocritical actions in the Middle East. We laud democracy in our country, but support undemocratic regimes abroad when it is convenient for us (Iran 1950’s, Iraq 1980s, Egypt 2000s).
Are we really free?
Americans are often condescending to the rest of the world about the freedoms we enjoy. Yet, taking into account the personal freedoms that many Egyptians have, like privacy and the right not to be digitally stripped at airports, I’m beginning to think that we are not as free as we think. The U.S. is not an authoritarian state (or is it?), but the climate in the U.S. is changing. We are so constrained with our fears about safety that we are locking ourselves in a self-constructed prison and throwing away the key. My fear is that one day those digital machines will be everywhere, scanning our bodies in front of malls, libraries, schools, airports -dehumanizing, and violating us on a daily basis, but we will be too complacent to notice. Just like London, one day New York will have cameras on every street, watching our movements. I’m guilty of participating in the facebook trend, but I feel that our habit of oversharing online will also create a privacy disaster for us in the future.
ME
I am a different person.
Recently I browsed through my memory card of pictures, and found some of the summer before I arrived here. It’s strange when you look at images of yourself, but you don’t recognize the person that you were. The girl in the photos doesn’t even look like me, or dress like me. My face looks different now, my body is thinner, my hair is longer, and my style has become more sophisticated.
I am older, I am stronger, I am less naïve, I am more flexible, I am less daunted, I am a better person.
My life, when I return to it, will look different. It will be fresh, it will be new, and I am so excited join the people that I love. I can’t wait for them to meet me.
See you all on the other side.
